Reasons to Divorce your Husband
As a family law firm, we have worked with numerous clients. Some of them are at the beginning of their journey and are only just beginning to consider divorce; others are further along, and are ready to begin the process, but need help in doing so.
Being stuck in a toxic or unhappy marriage can be extremely difficult, especially if you are dealing with problems with your other spouse. Extramarital affairs, financial problems, mental illness, and simple irreconcilable differences are all reasons that people have come to us for a divorce.
Sometimes the fault lies with one spouse, and sometimes both spouses are equally to blame.
Here at Skillern Firm Divorce & Child Custody Lawyers, as a Houston divorce and family law firm, we have worked with countless clients to help them get through their divorce as quickly and as conflict-free as possible without sacrificing their rights or needs.
We have worked with toxic and abusive partners, utilizing mediation when face-to-face meetings are no longer productive and viable. This allows couples to overcome impasses and come to amicable agreements, reducing the need for court involvement. This saves you time and money and protects your relationships as much as possible. This is the healthiest way to end the marriage, especially if you have children involved.
If you are considering divorcing your spouse and need help and advice regarding the divorce process, get in touch today at (832) 688-6606
reasons for divorce
If your husband is engaging in toxic behavior, you may feel guilty about the feelings that begin to arise. You may begin to feel slightly anxious or find them less attractive than you used to, or you may wish to spend more time apart. As a result of working with countless women both before, during, and after the divorce process, here are some toxic behaviors that your husband may be engaging in that validate your reasoning. Remember, no matter how small these reasons may seem, your feelings are valid, and you should know that you are not “crazy, silly, or stupid,” no matter what your partner says.
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A toxic husband may flip out and lose their temper with no warning signs or reason. If they are physically abusive or use their size to intimidate you, this can be scary and leave you walking on eggshells around them at all times. This is not good for your mental health, and if you have any children, you may worry about what may happen.
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If, as a result of the behavior your spouse is exhibiting, you have begun to feel anxious or depressed, then you need to consider seeking professional help. A healthy relationship should be a safe place and if it is not and it is causing you harm, you should consider removing yourself from it.
Even if you are not currently suffering from mental illness, if your marriage is exhausting you and you are constantly stressed and tired, you are at a drastically higher chance of developing a mental illness.
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If you feel you have to lie to your husband about your whereabouts because they may get angry or try to control your movements, this is a bad sign as it is manipulative behavior that can very easily become emotional abuse. Often, abuse takes the form of a husband forcefully taking their partner’s phones, credit cards, or car keys.
You should be free to spend time with your friends and away from your husband without their permission, and if you do so, they should be fully supportive of you.
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Toxic people often play the victim in everything that goes wrong, deflecting blame onto their spouses. If your husband blames you for things that go wrong in their lives, this may be a sign that your partner is a narcissist.
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If you find yourself regularly protecting your husband and hiding, lessening, or defending their actions when you speak to your friends and family, this is a sign that their behavior is unacceptable. Friends and family can see what is happening from an unbiased and outside perspective, so if you are constantly defending your husband’s actions, this could be a sign that something is off in your marriage.
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You may find you start spending a lot more time with your kids without your spouse. You may take them to the park a lot more or plan activities that do not involve your spouse. If you do not have kids, you may find yourself planning more trips out, or you may find ways to make a small trip to the shop or bank an all-day task to avoid going back to your husband.
If you and your husband no longer spend quality time together or plan for dates and time alone, then this is a sign you may not be in a healthy marriage.
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Married life should mean that when you need emotional support, you can go to your husband. If, when you go to your husband, he does not listen, belittles you, or tells you your problems are stupid or silly, this shows blatant disrespect to you. It is important to draw the line and be very clear that this kind of behavior is not acceptable.
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A controlling husband may try to control your movements, your money, your friends, and who you spend time with. They may also manipulate you, by engaging in behaviors such as gaslighting, which is when your husband tells you that your version of events is wrong, making you question your own memories.
This is toxic behavior at best, and at worse, it is emotional abuse.
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If you have already made a stand and have confronted your husband on their behavior or toxicity, and they have promised you they will change but have shown no inclination of doing so, you are only enabling them if you allow this to continue. It is important to be aware of when enough is enough and to set boundaries that you are both clear on. If your husband continues to act in an unhealthy manner, it may be time for you to seek legal advice from a divorce attorney.
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Domestic violence is unacceptable, whether it comes in the form of physical abuse or emotional abuse. If you are being abused, or your spouse is being abusive to your children or family, you must reach out for help.
By contacting an attorney, you can ensure that you have a plan of action, which is always important when divorcing an abusive partner. If your attorney knows of their actions, they can make sure the courts know about them too. They can help you file a protection order, and they can ensure that your spouse knows that their behavior has been noted.
If you need advice, call the national domestic violence hotline and seek professional help.
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Your husband may no longer ask you about your day, consider your feelings, or engage in other acts of intimacy, and this can lead to resentment and a feeling of inadequacy. If your relationship involved a lot of sexual intimacy and that has stopped, or your partner withholds sex as manipulation, then this is a red flag.
A lack of physical intimacy or emotional intimacy, sexual or not, is a perfectly valid reason for you to divorce your husband, and you should not let them convince you otherwise.
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Deciding to save your marriage when you are going through marital problems should not be a one-sided decision, so the answer to this question most likely depends upon your partner and not you. If you wish to save your marriage, and you have attempted to get your husband to engage in counseling or to correct their behavior, and they have refused to do so, you may not wish to waste your time trying to reconcile.
If you are not making progress with your husband, it may be time to seek legal advice from a divorce lawyer and begin to put a plan in action to leave the marriage. They will be able to help you put your plan together, advise you on your best steps and when the time is right, start the process of divorce.
Making the first steps to file can put you at an advantage, so it may be in your best interests to speak to an attorney before you tell your husband.
The Legal grounds for divorce
There are seven legal grounds for divorce in Texas:
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This is the main reason given for divorce in Texas. Insupportability means that you can no longer live together, make decisions together, or that you have a “discord or conflict of personalities” that has prevented any “reasonable expectation of reconciliation.”
Some marriages end naturally, with two spouses growing apart, but it often happens when a marriage becomes toxic due to one spouse, meaning the other spouse can no longer cope with the marriage and the behavior that the other spouse is exhibiting.
If you have told your husband they need to change and they refuse to work with you through channels such as marriage counseling, you can use insupportability as your reason for divorcing him.
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The biggest sign of disrespect to you and the commitments that you have made together is if your husband has cheated on you. If they have, you may need to consider the fact that they are toxic and have no respect for you and your marriage.
Adultery is one of the legal reasons for divorce in Texas.
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If your husband has abandoned you and remained away for at least 12 months, this is a legal reason for divorce in Texas. Abandonment is defined as the act of one spouse leaving the marital home with no intention of returning. This can also include leaving without providing financial support for an extended period and refusing to communicate with their spouse.
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If your Husband has committed a felony crime, then under Texas law, you can seek a divorce. In this case, you would have to provide evidence of your husband’s crime. This could include a copy of the criminal conviction, as well as any other relevant documentation. The court must also find that the felony was committed against you or that it significantly harmed your relationship.
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This requires that your husband has been confined in a state or private mental hospital for at least three years plus the mental disorder is of such a degree and nature that adjustment is unlikely or that, if an adjustment occurs, relapse is probable.
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If you and your husband have been living apart for a period of 3 years or more, then you can divorce for this reason under Texas law. This means you have not been living together as husband and wife. You must be able to provide proof, such as witness testimony or documentary evidence, to a court of law that you and your husband have been living apart for at least 3 years.
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If your husband has been abusive, mentally or physically, then you have grounds to divorce because of their behavior. Cruelty is defined as treatment that endangers the physical or mental well-being of the other spouse. This must be verified by providing evidence, such as medical records, police reports, or witness statements.
Signs of an Unhappy or Toxic Marriage
If your husband is exhibiting toxic behavior, and you can no longer trust them or come together to make important decisions, it is likely you are in a toxic marriage.
A toxic marriage can be characterized by a constant level of conflict and argument, emotional abuse, physical abuse, or manipulation by one or both parties, a lack of intimacy, both emotionally and physically, and a lack of respect.
Toxic marriages can range in their severity and may start with small issues, such as poor communication, jealousy, and unhappiness in the relationship.
Here are some of the signs:
- You no longer feel safe and secure in your relationship
- You fear for your safety, or the safety of your children
- You or your spouse cheated
- You no longer feel attraction or love towards your partner
- You don’t trust them anymore
- Chronic substance abuse
Skillern Firm Divorce & Child Custody Lawyers – Divorce and Family Law Advocacy from a Team You Can Trust
Skillern Firm Divorce & Child Custody Lawyers is proud of its reputation as a trustworthy and successful family law and divorce firm. We have won countless cases, helped numerous spouses negotiate terms of their divorces, and worked with many women who needed our help and support to end their marriages.
We will fight on your behalf to ensure that you can look forward to a happy new future. We won’t settle for less, and we won’t rest until we have secured you a favorable outcome, one where your rights are protected, and your best interests are preserved.
Call us today at (832) 688-6606
