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8 Keys to Maintaining Your Mental Health During a Divorce

Dec 15, 2021 | Divorce

When you’re going through a separation and divorce in or around Houston, TX, there are local and state resources to orient you on the basic process in a general way. While this information is a great place to start, you should focus on your mental health and personalized help when getting a divorce.

8 Keys to Maintaining Your Mental Health During a Divorce

1. Face All of Your Feelings

It’s important to get in touch with your feelings during such a turbulent time in your life. The mix of emotions will vary for each person, but divorce may stir up feelings of despair, anger, fear, and confusion. There can also be a strong sense of loss that people feel both in losing a marriage and a partnership, as well as one’s former identity as a spouse.

Surprisingly, even an unhappy marriage ending needs to be grieved. Without understanding what you’re feeling, you may harbor bitterness without even realizing it, and that can hamper your coping abilities to get through the divorce. Also, when you face your feelings head-on, you may even find that not all of them are negative. Some divorcing people experience feelings of renewed freedom and an appreciation for the chance to get to know themselves better.

2. Live Day by Day Come What May

To reduce the effects of stress in this time of both endings and beginnings that equal a lot of life changes, it’s crucial to focus on only what has to be done and not expect yourself to somehow be the model of efficiency. Setting priorities and considering anything else accomplished as a bonus can help your mental health during a divorce. This way, when new things come up, you’ll likely have more energy and patience to tackle them.

Having the mindset of accomplishing priorities only and just getting through each day can give you a much-needed break. Rather than trying to be superman or superwoman, any extra time spent on yourself for a moment to relax or gather your thoughts can be much more beneficial.

3. Heal Yourself While Getting a Divorce

Healing during divorce often depends on time. It can take time even after the divorce is finalized to fully heal, yet this doesn’t mean you can’t make progress adapting to your new way of life along the way. Well-meaning friends and family members may try to rush you through the healing process trying to inspire you to “get back out there” yet rushing into another relationship or making major decisions about moving or changing jobs should be avoided now.

Getting ideas and thinking about where you may want to go next, or what dreams you want to follow, that’s all good. But holding off any decisions until you’re ready is key in being sure it’s what you want rather than finding yourself simply reacting to your feelings.

4. Keep a Routine for Emotional Security

Especially if you have children, divorce is not the time to break completely from familiar routines. When so much is going to be changing, keeping to comforting routines like meals together or family game nights can be a surprising source of bonding. It adds more stability to such unstable times and can keep the family feeling grounded and that their world is still going to be turning.

When the family feels more secure during a divorce, communication is likely to increase along with the confidence to share feelings. Of course, adults should never involve children in discussions about how they feel about the other parent in terms of any unfairness over the divorce. But open communication to assure the kids the divorce is not their fault and both parents love them very much can work wonders in creating family security.

5. Find a Confidant You Can Trust

For your mental health, being able to vent your feelings about your ex and the end of your marriage to another adult you trust is a must-do when getting a divorce. This person could be someone who’s gone through a divorce or a friend or family member with who you feel safe discussing your thoughts.

If you don’t feel you have anyone who’s going to listen to you, then you might want to consider seeing a therapist or counselor. Another idea is to join a divorce support group where others are going through similar situations to yours. The main thing is that you can express your thoughts and feelings about your divorce away from your kids’ ears and have people listen to you.

6. Don’t Forget the Bright Side & the Small Things

Appreciating the small things in life at such a stressful time can lead to a healthy mental outlook. Whether it’s more time enjoying your family or friends or relishing the beauty of nature, simple joys can mean a lot now. Taking time to love life might even help you fully realize how important it is to just control what you can and not take things too seriously.

Savoring the positive things can also help you keep your spirits up to maintain your routines. Making your favorite recipes even without your ex now, signals to yourself and your kids that life at home is continuing. Making sure to eat healthy meals and get regular exercise can positively affect your mental state by proving to yourself you can manage self-care. This can be an empowering feeling.

7. Try Something New Near Houston, TX

One of the best ways to transition to your changed life after divorce is to try something new. For some, this might mean a new sports activity, while others may prefer trying their hand at pottery or painting. There are lots of possibilities that might even have you exploring places in your neighborhood you previously hadn’t. If you have kids, letting each choose a new activity to try may also work well for your family.

Starting small with new experiences during the healing stages of divorce can also prepare you for the time when bigger decisions may be necessary. Growing confidence by small steps usually works better for mental health maintenance than trying to reinvent yourself by leaps and bounds. Reading self-help books on recovering from divorce can be a great idea to give you and your family coping tips, or you can check if your town has helpful workshops.

8. Be Sure to Get Professional Help

Look for caring and experienced professionals to help you now whether that is a therapist, life coach, or another leader in your community. If you’re religious you may want to seek advice from your pastor, priest, rabbi, or member of the clergy. Such professional and expert advice can give you a lot of food for thought now that may help you make life decisions later on.

Of course, choosing experienced divorce lawyers to answer your questions, handle all of the legal details, and work to get you the best resolution possible is extremely important for your stress relief and mental health. That will give you more time to focus on healing and take care of your priorities.

For experienced and dedicated Houston divorce lawyers who will fight in your best interest to prepare you to move forward in your life, contact Skillern Firm.

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