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Protecting yourself in a high-conflict divorce

| Jan 15, 2020 | Divorce

Many people hope their divorce will be amicable. However, the reality for some people is that the process is anything but peaceful. This can be especially true for people divorcing someone with a high-conflict personality.

People who are narcissistic, violent, aggressive, or unpredictable can create immense tension and hostility during a divorce. While divorces from these parties may not be peaceful, there are steps you can take to protect yourself throughout a high-conflict divorce and secure a fair settlement. Seeking out a family lawyer to assist you through this process is essentially. The sooner, the better.

Minimize contact

Any exchange with a high-conflict personality during a divorce can quickly become volatile and abusive. To avoid this, minimize your contact with the other person.

Communicate through your attorneys; structure your custody exchanges in such a way that you will not have to speak to each other; keep any conversations you do have in writing and retain copies of every message.

Set and enforce your boundaries

 Your ex may know every button to push to get a response from you. And he or she may do whatever possible to get you to lash out, give up or give in. To protect yourself, set and enforce healthy boundaries.

For instance, you might prohibit your ex from entering your home. You could also unfollow or block each other on social media. Again, use caution with communication. Keep your conversations free from emotion and to the point. If your ex tries to cross a line, walk away, hang up or call the police if you are in danger.

Focus on the big picture

 You may feel like you will never move past the stress and conflict of a difficult divorce. However, for your sake and your children’s sake (if you have children), you must focus on more than just your immediate situation.

High-conflict divorce can take a dramatic toll on adults and children. It can cause serious anxiety and affect the ability to form positive relationships in the future, not to mention the relationships a child has with parents after the divorce is over. Focusing on the far-reaching effects of a high-conflict divorce could help you make better decisions in the immediate situation.

Protecting yourself, your family and your future in a high-conflict divorce can seem impossible. However, these tips, along with legal, emotional and personal support, can make it possible.